How many times in your life have you heard yourself or someone you know say, "I'm sorry"? Did you know that saying "I'm sorry" could mean many different things? 

You could be saying, "I'm sorry" because you wanted to absolve yourself from the guilt you feel inside. That's when saying "I'm sorry" was not enough. You didn't desire to step into the shoes of the other person to experience what they experienced by your action. Now that you offered an apology without saying what you did and how that must of made the other feel you have just shifted guilt responsibility to the other's shoulders. Now the other person is the bad person if they don't accept your apology even though your "I'm sorry" was void of the principles behind "clearing the board. 

"What's that?" you might ask. "'Clearing the board' sounds like a good thing. I could sense what I'd feel like to ‘clear the board.' An invisible yet felt weight would lift-off my shoulders, head and chest. I would want to welcome the other person. There would be freedom to move and be myself." 

Before we go on with how to "clear the board" there are more "I'm sorry's" to discover! Another "I'm sorry" may mean that you truly didn't like what you did to the other person(s) but you hadn't thought about what you would do to "turn around" from doing that again. "Turning around" would set your self on a course of action in a new direction. Perhaps that course of action would be to get a life coach, someone who would help you to do the "turn around" with you and keep you accountable for what you wanted to turn around from. 

Turning around" is a key principle for "clearing the board." Without "turning around" your apologies are empty words which others must carry for you until you ask for real forgiveness. Others will continue to forgive you 70 X 7 because they loved you or perhaps they wanted to avoid conflict with you because you've become a Sludger! 

Another "I'm sorry" may be said because you are in a relationship where the other person sees you as the one to blame, always! "I'm sorry" was said by you to amend the relationship the only way that the other person has allowed. Your "I'm sorry" is a plea for their mercy to accept you or to not harm you. 

Another "I'm sorry" may be the real thing. You saw what you had done to the point of being able to step into the other person(s) shoes experiencing what they had felt and thought. You've reflected upon what you would like to do to correct this from happening again. You have set up a plan to do just that and do it. You have then found an appropriate time to express all this to the other person(s). After expressing what you had done, how that must have made them feel and what you have acted upon to make a change you asked them after they have had a chance to respond, "Will you forgive me?" Your question is asked not expecting the person(s) to say, "Yes." You are simply staying open to whatever may happen. 

The person(s) may not be able to say, "Yes." You may need to give them time to see that your change is not just empty words. Perhaps they aren't capable at this time of forgiving you or anyone until they get help on their issues. However, I guarantee that if you have truly seen what has severed your relationship with the person(s) and have acted upon a commitment to change, the person(s) will be able to tell this. The intent of your heart will have an honest impact on them. Good comes eventually and in some manner. 

Asking for forgiveness is a serious and honest step to "turning around." Do it for the right reasons and you will receive "clearing of the board," like you may have dreamed of experiencing. And as a special bonus for honest work, asking for forgiveness may lead you to "reconciliation" of that relationship.

Photo: "Apology on a napkin" © Tim Nichols / Dreamstime.com    No other text entered